


Fresh Snow

by Sandbirde



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-08-18 17:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandbirde/pseuds/Sandbirde
Summary: Susie tries to turn over a new leaf, and makes her first non-S%*$ Squad friend in the process.I'm taking commissions! https://sketchbirde.tumblr.com/post/179867361229/sandbirde-sandbirde-updated-commission-post-i





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There's still like...no tags for this fandom lmao. I did my best.

The halls were packed. Students buzzed around, doing the typical student-ly hallway things. Susie was also doing her usual - shoving her way through throngs of students without much consideration for their wellbeing. This time, however, she had a friend in tow - literally, as she was practically dragging them through the crowd.

"So, Kris," Susie yelled above the cacophony of shrill prepubescent voices, "I need to talk to you about something." Susie turned back to see their response. Kris nodded in acknowledgement. "Cool. We're going to my locker."

Shortly thereafter, the locker was reached successfully. Susie finally released her iron grip on Kris' wrist, not seeming to notice as Kris gingerly rubbed it. "Okay, so basically..." Susie paused, growled quietly, then continued. "There's something I need your help with. I know neither of us are experts, exactly, but you're a lot better at it than me, and I think I could use your advice." Kris tilted their head. "Yeah, okay. I, um..." Susie suddenly found the ground fascinating.

"I need help being nice to people. Making friends. Not fighting everyone that breathes in my direction."

Kris tried and failed to stifle a giggle.

"Hey! I'm trying to be, like, vulnerable and s$*% here!" Kris waved their hands. Susie sighed. "Apology accepted. Will you help me?" Kris nodded enthusiastically. "Sweet. I'm...really glad to have you around, Kris." Kris smiled, taking Susie's hand and squeezing it gently. Susie blushed.

"Right, so...I'm going to attempt to make a new friend today. Any advice on how to go about that?" Kris put a finger to their chin contemplatively. "Oh, right. Y'know what, think about it and write it down for me in class, okay?" Kris nodded again. "Cool. Anyways, h-"

Susie was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder so light she almost didn't notice it. She turned to see a small doe, shaky and clinging to her own skirt. Susie raised her eyebrows. "Uh, hi there."

The doe blushed. "H-hello. Um...I'm N-Noelle!"

"Oh, yeah. You're in our class, right?"

Noelle seemed extremely happy with this response. "Yeah! Have been since September, haha."

Susie glanced over her shoulder at Kris, who just smiled and gave an encouraging wave. "Well, I'm Susie, and this is Kris."

"Oh, yeah, I know. You two are kind of the hot topic today."

Susie grew flustered. "Oh, right. Well, they're fine. I didn't destroy them or anything."

Noelle giggled. "So I see." Susie coughed, and Noelle trailed off nervously. Kris poked Susie in the back, pushing her to keep going.

"Uh, so, can I help you with something?"

Noelle startled. "Oh, right! Susie, I actually wanted to ask you...if..." She went quiet, withdrawing into herself.

"If what?" Susie did her best to smile. "I don't bite, usually."

Noelle laughed weakly. "Right, of course. I wanted to know if..." She took a deep breath. "ifyoumaybewantedtohangoutsometimenopressurethough."

Susie paused for a moment, and then guffawed. "Sorry, what? I don't speak Mumble-ese."

Noelle's nose twitched anxiously. "Sorry! I...um..." Kris poked Susie again, a sharp jab. S$*%, right, gotta back off a little.

"Hey." Susie waited until Noelle looked at her. "It's okay. Just take a breath and say it slowly."

Noelle allowed herself a small smile. "Yes." She sucked in as much air as she could hold, then blew it out gradually. Susie waited, leaning against the locker. "Okay." Noelle looked Susie bravely in the eye. "I want to know if you want to hang out with me sometime!" Her tone was equal parts uncertain and triumphant. Susie caught herself thinking it was kind of cute.

Unfortunately, Susie still didn't quite know how to handle cute. She blushed, staring at the locker and baring her teeth awkwardly. "Uh..."

The beginning of disappointment was showing on Noelle's face. "Oh, um..." Kris, ever the faithful wingman, tapped Susie on the shoulder. When Susie looked back, they tapped their mouth. Right, the teeth! Whoops.

Susie forced herself to look at Noelle. "Hey!"

Noelle startled again. "Huh?" She bit her lip. "I mean...yes?"

"I'd like that."

Noelle blinked. "You'd like to..."

"Yeah. Hang on." Susie opened her locker, digging out a crumpled piece of paper and a broken pencil. She hurriedly scribbled something down and offered the result to Noelle. "This is my number. Text me after class...or during it, I don't really care."

Noelle looked slightly nauseated, but her eyes lit up. "A-awesome! I'll definitely do that!" She took the sheet and tucked it neatly into her bookbag.

Susie smiled - an actual, genuine smile. "Cool."

The bell rang with plot-convenient timing, and the hordes of elementary and middle schoolers rampaged into their respective classrooms. Noelle grew frantic. "Oh, no, we're going to be late! We'd better run!" She took off into the fray, yelling over her shoulder. "See you guys in class!"

Susie watched Noelle disappear into the chaos, then glanced over at Kris, who was smiling broadly. "Did that just happen?" Kris nodded, giving Susie two thumbs up and looking a little too excited. Susie rubbed the back of her neck, her stomach flip-flopping for reasons she couldn't explain. "Huh. Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Put your damn phone away, Susie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this taking so long, school is absolutely kicking my ass. Hope you enjoy!

_Bzzzt._

  
Susie jumped. She could have sworn she’d turned off her ringtone, but that was definitely her phone vibrating in her pocket. She glanced around to see if anyone had noticed, but it seemed that everyone was either focused on Ms. Alphys or asleep at their desks. Meanwhile, Ms. Alphys herself was talking to the chalkboard as usual, not really looking at anyone. She was safe, for now.

  
She slipped her phone out, checking what had set it off. She was mildly surprised to see it was a text notification from an unknown number. Phones around here didn’t typically have issues with spam texts or calls, and she didn’t see how anyone could have gotten her phone number - unless Kris had given it out, but that would be...really weird.

  
Glancing up at Alphys to make sure she was still preoccupied with the board, she opened her phone to see the text.

  
_Hey, Susie. It’s Noelle >w<_

  
Oh. That made more sense.

  
Susie looked over her shoulder at Noelle, who, sure enough, was holding her phone in her lap. Susie hadn’t expected one of the best students in the class to so blatantly break the rules. She was...kind of impressed, in a way.

  
_sup. didnt think ud actually text me in class lmao_

  
She sent the text, then quickly turned off the vibration on her phone. Good thing she did, as she didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

  
_I mean...I’ve done it before. Class is boring, and this stuff is easy._

  
Susie raised an eyebrow. She’d never noticed Noelle with her phone out, but she didn’t notice much, to be fair. It was also possible the teachers didn’t care. Either way, Susie was growing more intrigued with her by the second. Another text came in before she could reply.

  
_Anyways, I couldn’t wait to talk to you <3_

  
Susie’s eyes widened. What the hell made her so special? She’d barely spoken to Noelle, and definitely not outside of school. She scratched her chin, then answered.

  
_about what? lol_

  
She glanced up to check on Ms. Alphys, then looked down to see another text. Damn, Noelle was a fast typer.

  
_Anything! IDK...You seem cool and I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while._

  
Another message, lighting fast after the first:

  
_Is that weird? I’m sorry._

  
“Susie.”

  
Susie startled, looking up to see Ms. Alphys in front of her desk. Whoops.

  
“N-now I’m not interested in excuses.” Ms. Alphys pushed her glasses up nervously. “Y-you know this is n-not allowed in the classroom.”

  
Susie growled, but slid her phone back in her pocket.

  
“Thank you. Now, back to what I was saying about…”

  
Alphys turned back to the blackboard, scribbling something incomprehensible and mind-numbing. Susie sighed, leaning on her hands. Once Alphys was wrapped back up in whatever she was explaining to the wall, Susie chanced looking back at Noelle, who smiled and shrugged at her. Well, Susie guessed that was the end of that for now. The whole situation was still surreal, though.

  
Susie was distracted for the rest of the class period - not that it was anything new, but this was different. She knew she could be kind of clueless, but this clueless? She knew her reputation. She saw the other kids avoiding her, heard them whisper behind her back, and she liked it that way. So how could anyone have seen her stomping through the halls and thought, “That’s someone I want to get to know better”? It was crazy!

  
But Noelle...wasn’t crazy. Noelle was...Noelle.

  
Susie squinted at her desk. What did she actually know about Noelle? That she existed? That her dad was a giant cornball that would surprise her at school on occasion? That she got top grades while barely trying? Three things. Susie knew exactly three things about Noelle Holiday.

  
Maybe this wasn’t so weird, then, after all.

  
She didn’t notice the bell ringing until she saw everyone filing out of the classroom for lunch. She jumped up, collecting her things in a scramble, and was about to head out the door when -

  
“Susie?”

  
She turned to see Noelle standing behind her.

  
“Yeah?”

  
“Would you...like to have to lunch with me?” Noelle scratched behind her ear, not looking Susie in the eye.

  
Susie tilted her head. No, this was definitely weird.

  
“Sure, I guess?”

  
“Cool!” Noelle looked up at her and smiled. “Let’s go, then!”

  
“Yeah…” Susie shook her head, dazed at the events unfolding before her.

  
“You okay?”

  
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” Susie started walking, Noelle close behind. “Just hungry. Let’s go before all the tolerable food runs out.”

  
“Right!”

  
Susie was actually grateful Noelle had asked. It was nice, sure, but it was also convenient. She needed more time to read Noelle’s intentions before this went any further. One way or another, she would figure this out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susie proves capable of basic socialization, more or less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!! Between school, family stuff, and a small bout of writer's block, I've been pretty preoccupied - ntm this chapter turned out longer than anticipated. But it's finally done! I hope you guys enjoy <3

The walk to the lunchroom was silent. Noelle was quick on her feet, but Susie was about a foot taller, so their paces more or less evened out. There was too much and not enough to think about. The distance felt infinite. Susie swore she could feel sweat pooling in her boots.

 

And then they were there.

 

The crash of noise as they opened the doors snapped both of them out of their dumb awkward kid stupor, for the moment. Susie glanced around, her eyes slightly too wide and frantic. Noelle looked at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"

 

Susie blinked rapidly, as if she'd forgotten Noelle was there. "Oh. Yeah, I'm just..." She chuckled, not looking any less nervous. "I don't know..." She waved vaguely at the lunchroom.

 

"Ohh." Noelle smiled a little too broadly. "I know a place! Let's get food first, though."

 

Susie blinked again. "Oh, yeah. Right."

 

The lunch line wasn’t impossibly long yet, fortunately. They slid into place quietly, beginning the gradual shuffle toward what they were  _ told  _ was food. The cacophony around them barely registered as it bounced off their bubble of silence. They fell into an uncomfortable rhythm of mini-steps well known to many former attendees of public middle schools with lunch programs, and they were up at the counter before they knew it.

 

“What can I get for ya today, sweetie pies?” A chipper bunny lady twitched her ears through her furnet, smiling encouragingly at them.

 

Susie couldn’t help but smile back, and she admittedly didn’t  _ entirely  _ hate it - if by admittedly, you meant only to herself. “Just the usual, Bonnie. Thanks.”

 

The corners of Bonnie’s eyes crinkled like wrapping paper around a surprise extra birthday present. “Sure thing, Susie.” She looked to Noelle as she reached forward to grab one of the pre-wrapped burgers out of the warmer. “And for you, darlin’?”

 

Noelle inconveniently found herself deafened by the rushing of blood in her ears from seeing Susie genuinely smile. In fact, she was still staring rather stupidly at Susie when Susie turned to her, about to ask why she hadn’t responded.

 

Noelle’s eyes bugged out, and she blushed intensely, suddenly realizing what that noise from the direction of the lunch lady had been. Mortification was an understatement for the feeling currently making waves in her gut.

 

Bonnie raised her eyebrows, but never stopped smiling. “A little shy there, honey?”

 

Noelle’s gaze snapped to the ground and stayed there, her entire body stiff. Susie opened her mouth, then closed it again. She had a lot of questions, but the kids behind them were getting antsy. She looked back at Bonnie. “Uh, don’t worry about her. She wants the spring greens.”

 

Bonnie obliged with a nod, plopping some “spring greens” (it was mostly wilted lettuce) onto a plate and handing it over. Susie grabbed it and pushed Noelle to the next counter, trying to get them both out of the way and accidentally dropping a couple lettuce leaves in the process. Bonnie called after them. “Have a nice day, darlins!”

 

Susie yelled back louder than she intended, making the kids around them flinch slightly. “You too, Bon!”

 

Noelle was still too embarrassed to function, but she allowed herself to be dragged along, collecting side dishes and fruits from the self-serve bins and bustling through the necessary interactions with the cashier. She finally came to when Susie tapped her shoulder, looking more concerned by the second. “Noelle? I don’t mind getting your food, but I don’t have the money for two lunches.” She laughed anxiously, and Noelle’s eyebrows twitched.

 

“Right, of course.” She gave her ID to the cashier, who swiped it mercifully quickly, tapping a few buttons and sending them on their way.

 

Noelle looked like she was somewhere between crying and barfing. Susie had no idea what to do with all of this. She leaned forward a little, trying to look at Noelle's face. "Noelle? Are you okay?"

 

Noelle huffed. "I...yeah. Just follow me." She took off at a brisk pace, and Susie was taken aback for a moment before she thought to move. They made their way through the center aisle, skipping through a mini obstacle course of backpacks and feet. Once they reached the back of the cafeteria, Noelle took a sharp left. Susie was confused, but followed along anyways. They wove through more clutter and crowding until they got halfway to the other set of doors out of the room.

 

There were a couple tables in the back that nobody used; they were inconveniently placed, rickety, mysteriously stained, and every now and then there’d be stories of someone once being murdered to death on  _ those very tables _ . Very dramatic. Noelle, however, plunked herself right down without much fanfare. Susie couldn’t be seen hesitating where someone like Noelle hadn’t, however, so she was quick to sit beside her, setting her plate down and tucking in almost immediately.

 

Noelle just sat, poking at her lettuce with a mix of discomfort and disgust on her face. After a few mouthfuls of imitation beef, Susie noticed Noelle hadn’t eaten. She set her burger down. “Noelle?”

 

No answer.

 

Susie leaned on her elbow, cheek in her hand. “Hey, what happened back there? I wasn’t expecting you to freak out like that.”

 

Noelle tensed. Shit. Had Susie said something wrong?

 

“Uh, hey!” Susie smiled, probably not reassuringly. “I don’t mind helping you out. It’s just...not like you.” She paused. “Not like what I’ve  _ seen _ of you.”

 

Noelle stared at her plate, then sighed. “It’s…” She sucked in her lip, then pulled her bookbag onto the bench, making it creak ominously. She rustled around for a minute, frowned, and pulled out -

 

“Seriously?” Susie raised an eyebrow. “What, you got two stomachs today? Skip breakfast?”

 

Noelle set the lunchbox down on the table. “Look, I - it’s stupid.”

 

“Knowing you, I really doubt it. And anyways, I still wanna know. Nobody gets two lunches just because they feel like it, especially not if it makes them nearly  _ lose  _ their lunch in the process.”

 

“I said it’s stupid!” Noelle threw her bookbag down on the floor. She neglected to close it, first, though, and a few rogue papers spilled out. She didn’t seem to notice.

 

Susie growled. She was trying to be patient, but she and patience hadn’t seen each other in years. “Look,  _ you  _ wanted to hang out.  _ You  _ took my phone number.  _ You  _ texted me, and  _ you  _ asked me to have lunch with you. I didn’t come all the way back here to sit in silence. I can do that on my own, like I always have.”

 

Noelle growled right back, shocking Susie into silence. “Fine! Ugh!” She ran a hand through her hair. “I just…” She gripped her hair for a second, as if pulling the thoughts out of her brain. “I got in the lunch line with you just to stay with you, but then the lunch lady caught me off guard, and I wasn’t even buying anything, but both of you were staring at me, and I was super embarrassed, and I couldn’t explain myself because I’m friggin stupid, so I just went along with it the whole time!”

 

Susie stared at Noelle for a few seconds. Then she smiled. Then she chuckled.

 

Noelle glared. “Don’t laugh at me!”

 

The smile didn’t go away. “I’m not laughing at you. Actually, now I’ve learned something new about you, which was the whole goddamn point here.” The smile grew wider. “Although, you gotta admit...spending an extra $10 just to avoid saying no to a middle aged woman in an apron and furnet…”

 

“Shut _up_!” Noelle was still pouting, but her eyes glimmered.

 

Susie couldn’t hold back anymore. She started laughing, hard and loud, and Noelle found herself unable to resist laughing along. Everyone in the surrounding area turned to look at the sudden noise, but soon lost interest - and for once, Noelle didn’t even see them. All she saw was the girl with the adorable smile and infectious laugh sitting next to her. Everything else felt like it didn’t matter. It was...incredible.

 

Eventually, they quieted down, the air feeling a lot clearer between them. Susie looked at Noelle’s plate disdainfully. “So, like...you really don’t need to eat that.”

 

Noelle had forgotten the plate was even there. “Oh. Well, I don’t know. You went through so much to get it for me, and I -”

 

“So much? All I did was drag you by your arm and talk to a couple lunch line workers. Sounds like a normal Tuesday for me.”

 

Noelle elected to ignore the arm-dragging bit. “I guess, but -”

 

“Listen.” Susie pulled the plate over to her. “If you really don’t want it to go to waste, I’ll eat it. I actually  _ did  _ skip breakfast, so I’m glad to have a little extra today.”

 

Noelle blinked. “Oh. Uh...okay! Sure!”

 

“Awesome.” Susie went back to her now-cold burger, scarfing it down at breakneck speed. Noelle realized staring at her would probably be rude, and set about unpacking her homemade meal. They ate quietly for a bit, focused on finally getting food in their stomachs. Once they’d settled in, though, their munching left some room to breathe.

 

“So…” Susie had already finished her first meal, and was drinking the juice from her second fruit cup. “What’d you pack?”

 

“Oh!” Noelle cringed. “Actually...my mom still packs all my lunches for me.”

 

Susie paused, then sipped again. “That’s not so bad. She’s just trying to take some stress off for you, yeah?”

 

“Yeah, I know. It just - she makes me feel like I’m still a kid sometimes, yknow? Like, she trusts me to walk home by myself, or to go over to a friend’s house to study or whatever, and that’s cool. But then she does stuff like - “ Noelle pulled a sticky note covered in a scrawl of scribbly cursive off the inside of the lunchbox lid - “this.”

 

Susie took the note, squinting at it. She hadn’t had to read cursive in a while, so parsing the script was difficult, but she made out some key words: “sweetie,” “healthy,” “safe,” “love”. She handed the note back to Noelle. “I get what you mean, but you have to remember, she just wants you to know she loves you a lot.”

 

Noelle giggled, and Susie’s heart jumped for some reason (she chalked it up to being stuffed with the questionably edible). “You sound like my dad.”

 

Susie’s mouth twisted in consideration. “Eh, there are worse people to sound like. He seems like a nice guy.”

 

Noelle smiled begrudgingly. “Yeah…he is.”

 

“Look.” Susie gulped down the last of her chocolate milk. “I get it, okay? Parents can be annoying. If you wanna bitch at me when they ground you or make you clean up a mess you didn’t make, I’m here. I just want you to know what you have, is all.”

 

“I know.” Noelle contemplatively slipped a grape into her mouth. “I appreciate it.”

 

“Good.”

 

They sat quietly for a moment, their food demolished, their stomachs and heads full. Then, Susie finally remembered what she’d wanted to ask this whole time.

 

“Noelle.”

 

Noelle looked up, her expression open and innocent, and for a second Susie debated asking at all, but - no. She had to be sure.  


 

“Do you  _ really  _ want to get to know me better? Like...I’m not just a freak show to you? Because if you’re just fascinated by how one person can be so fucked up, I’m not gonna be the one to explain it to you.”

 

Noelle’s face fell, and Susie immediately regretted her words. The bell rang before either of them could speak, and Noelle visibly receded, throwing empty containers back into her bag and stuffing it in her backpack, along with the lost papers. Susie felt like her lunch might come right back up as she watched, not knowing what to do to fix what she’d just broken. Before Noelle left, she threw a final few words at Susie.

 

“To be honest, I think you’re really cool. I think somewhere under there, not far down at all, is a wonderful person. But…” She turned away. “Knowing that doesn’t keep my feelings from being hurt.”

 

With that, she trounced away, and Susie was left to process whatever had just happened. It was total emotional whiplash, and Susie wasn’t familiar with emotions in general. Well, not like this. Not in years. Shaking her head, she methodically cleaned up her trash, picked up her bag, and headed out, hoping if she could put it out of her head, it would magically make sense. For now, she needed to get through the rest of the day without breaking a locker or something else stupid. She took a deep breath and held it, all the way back to class.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susie goes home after a long day at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Physical and verbal abuse ahead
> 
> So, this got both a bit darker and a lot more involved than I was expecting...I'll change the fic rating in a minute, for sure. Sorry if you've gotten super involved in the story and can't read this chapter! I'll put a short summary of it at the beginning of the next chapter so you don't miss anything <3 Thank you for your patience!

The house was quiet.

Susie kicked off her shoes, throwing her bag on the bench by the door. Huffing a sigh, she trudged into the kitchen. Her head had been spinning since lunch, and she needed a snack. Emotional turmoil apparently made her hungry. She mentally crossed her fingers and started digging around.

Pantry: nothing worthwhile, just a couple cans of soup that were older than her, and half a box of crackers she was pretty sure had long gone stale. She grabbed them anyway, just in case.

Cabinets: no dice, just some cooking spray that never actually got used. She idly wondered if cooking spray just spontaneously materialized in every kitchen in the world.

Fridge: a head of slightly wilted lettuce and a bottle of mustard. Even she wasn’t that desperate.

Groaning, she slammed the fridge shut, taking the crackers onto the couch with her to be promptly demolished. She plopped down, dug her fist into the box - and paused. No, maybe her being upset and confused wasn’t a good reason for crumbs on the furniture. She pushed herself off the couch, walked back over to the bench, picked up her bag and stomped up to her room.

She collapsed on the bed, wishing for the thousandth time that she could lock the door, if only for a couple hours. She’d have to take her time alone where she could get it, though. Tossing her backpack on the floor, she pulled a large handful of crackers out and promptly stuffed her face. Crumbs in her bed weren’t as big a deal - or at least, she didn’t care much. The crackers were practically chewy at this point, but she couldn’t really afford to be picky about the texture.

She made quick work of the box, unable to worry about what her dad would think of her eating so many at the moment. She then rolled out of bed, walking over to the trash can and digging out some trash to bury the cracker box under. It probably wouldn’t fool anyone, but she had to try, at least. Wiping crumbs from her mouth, she opened her backpack, flipping through papers to see if there was any homework. Her materials gave her nothing but confusion, though.

Oh, well. Not like she ever did her homework anyways.

She flopped back down on her bed, unsure as always what to do with herself. She debated taking a nap (she’d usually fall asleep if she just stayed still long enough) but she wasn’t quite bored or tired enough for that yet. She took out her phone, pulling up Grumblr in the hopes of finding something not totally mind-numbing. She scrolled for about five minutes before giving up. Why did she even have a Grumblr? She couldn’t remember.

Wait, what was that noise she just heard? Was that...the front door? She nearly dropped her phone as she jumped out of bed. Who the fuck was barging in at this hour? A well-intentioned but thoughtless neighbor? A confused mailman? A burglar? Was she about to be the victim of Hometown’s first felony in decades? Her mind raced as she tiptoed out of her room, glancing around wildly for any possible weapons.

She grabbed the lamp sitting on a table in the hallway and gulped, stepping delicately to the stairwell. She peered around the wall, but saw nothing other than the closed front door. Shit, this guy was already in the house somewhere. She debated calling the cops, but figured if the guy was breaking into an apparently empty house, he would probably be easily scared off if she just yelled, let alone threatened him. With this in mind, she crept down the stairs, ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.

Reaching the bottom, she peered around the railing, only to see an empty kitchen. Where the hell was this guy? Then she heard the TV being flicked on. A generic crime drama began blasting through the house, and she finally realized who the intruder was - but at this time of day?

Well, at least she probably wouldn’t get murdered today. Taking a quiet but deep breath, she dashed back up the stairs as gently as possible, rushing down the hallway and replacing the lamp in its rightful spot. She mentally apologized to it for the trouble before sneaking back into her room. She wasn’t about to bother the guy unnecessarily. Unfortunately, she didn’t have much of a choice.

“Susan? That you?”

Fuck.

Groaning inwardly, she left her sanctuary once again (shutting the door carefully to avoid a lecture for “slamming” it), and slinked hesitantly down the stairs, making her way to the man in front of the television. She remained on the line between the tile of the kitchen and the ratty carpet of the living room, unwilling to approach further.

He didn’t even look. “You never come to the door anymore.”

Susie swallowed. “You’re home early today.”

“You can hear the door from your room. Don’t bullshit me.” He let out a groan that only seemed right coming from a man that could never act his age, stretching dramatically in his seat on the couch. “Got any homework?”

Susie stuck a hand in her pocket. “No.”

“What did I just say?” Now he turned, his face already souring. “Do. You. Have. Any. Homework?”

“I don’t!”

“Don’t take that tone with me. You’re the one trying to fuck me around.” He turned back to the television, the disinterest and disdain mixing to drip acid from his lips onto the carpet. “You haven’t had homework in a week. Either we need to talk to the principal about your incompetent teacher, or you’re lying to me. So which is it? Do I need to call off work for you again?”

Susie literally bit her tongue, doing her best not to snap at him. It was a daily struggle, so you’d think it would get easier, but the patience to withstand his constant stream of idiocy still eluded her.

“Fine. I have a couple worksheets, I guess.”

The man laughed dangerously. Shit. “You  _ guess?  _ God, what the fuck am I doing this for, Susan?”

Susan scowled at the floor. Nothing to do but wait it out now.

“Oh, now you’re  _ mad. _ ” Condescension was his favorite form of communication, and he never hesitated to use it liberally, though only to his daughter. She sucked in a breath, visualizing the words rolling off her shoulders and back. It was all she could do.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t as easy to let angry, righteous hands roll off of her. He yanked her up by her hair, forcing her to look at him. When she refused to make eye contact, he raised his other hand, chuckling when she flinched and finally met his gaze.

“Be mad at yourself. I clothe you, feed you, go to work every damn day to keep the both of us under this goddamn roof, and you wanna fuck around in school, and lie to me on top of that? Anybody else would have thrown your ass out on the streets years ago. I hope you fuckin’ know that.”

Nope, she couldn’t hold back anymore. Staring him straight in the eye, she let the words tumble carelessly from her mouth. “Anybody else would treat me like a fucking person.”

She braced herself for the onslaught from her bitter retort - and startled when she instead heard laughter. He was practically sneering now; no, that was definitely an almost comically villainous sneer.

“You’re 17 and completely dependent on me to keep your sorry ass alive. You’re not a person. You wanna be a person, go out and get yourself your own goddamn job, your own goddamn apartment, and stop being so fuckin’ pathetic. Then you’ll be a fuckin’ person.” His face transitioned from a smile to a frown in a way that was clearly well practiced. “Get in your room and do your fuckin’ homework.” With that, she was thrown back, nearly landing on her ass on the kitchen floor.

There were so many things she wanted, in that moment, that she couldn’t even count them. It didn’t matter, though. It never did. Biting back tears, her stomach burning in seven different ways, she just turned, silently plodding, foot after heavy foot, back to her room.

The man yelled after her in a tone that was somehow both lazy and vaguely threatening. “Don’t close the door, either! I’ll be checking up on you!”

She paused, debating for a moment, then walked into the bathroom instead. She didn’t shut the door, afraid to rouse suspicion, but figured he wouldn’t be up at least until his show was over. She sat on the toilet and allowed herself to cry, steadying her breathing so he wouldn’t hear - not that he could, anyhow. He was practically deaf, hence the television being loud enough to cause minor earthquakes. She could never be too careful, though.

Once she’d finished, she quickly splashed some cold water on her face and looked in the mirror. Ouch. She’d just have to hope he wouldn’t notice her puffy eyes. She slid over to her room and sat weakly on the bed. She picked up her bag, holding it in her lap as though, if she caressed it gently and whispered sweet nothings long enough, it would magically get her shit together for her. This didn’t happen, though, so she begrudgingly unzipped it, pulling out her papers and rifling through them with a little more attention this time.

It was then that she realized her phone had been buzzing in her pocket for...a while. Throwing a silent thanks up to whatever deity had prevented her dad from noticing the vibration, she whipped her phone out of her pocket.

_ 14 new texts _

She didn’t even know it was possible to receive that many messages at once. Twisting her mouth, she opened her phone to see they were all from Noelle.

Oh. That...sort of explained it? She  _ was _ the type to say in 20 fragmented sentences what could easily be said in two standard ones. Regardless, Susie supposed she should get to reading.

_ Hey. _

__ _ I’m sorry about earlier >.< _

__ _ I know you’re not really used to talking to people or having friends or anything. _

__ _ Honestly, I’m not either. _

__ Susie blinked. What was she talking about? Everyone was Noelle’s friend; they were always nice to her, giving her little gifts, asking her to hang out after school or go to birthday parties. That was just about the dictionary definition of popular. So what did she mean?

_ That’s not really the point though, sorry ^^ _

__ _ I blew up at you when you didn’t really deserve it. You’ve probably already noticed, but I’m kinda overly sensitive. Everything feels like an insult or a prank or something. Idk. _

__ _ Not trying to make excuses! But that’s why I did it. It’s not anything you did. _

__ _ I’m really sorry. _

__ _ I hope we can still be friends! _

__ _ I’ll be more patient this time, I promise! _

__ _ Actually, you should come over sometime this weekend! I get my homework all done on Friday nights, so my weekends are pretty open, except when I’m volunteering. _

__ _ I mean, if you want to, you should. I’d like to have you over. _

__ _ No pressure! _

__ _ Sorry, I’m being stupid ^^; Just get back to me when you can, ok? _

__ Susie leaned back on her headboard. Okay. Well, that was nice to not have to worry about anymore, at least. Chewing her lip thoughtfully, she tapped out a reply.

_ hey, dont worry about it. im pretty rough around the edges. believe me, i know. _

__ _ i’d love to come over sometime. i just gotta run it past my dad. _

__ _ he’s kinda strict, so i have to be careful lol _

__ Satisfied, she set her phone down, finally digging a pencil out of her bag and setting to work on a math worksheet. She tried to work fast, unsure of how much time had passed since she’d come upstairs. She was...oddly calm, though. Something in her just felt peaceful, somehow. Tonight was not the night to look a gift horse in the mouth, so she clung to that mysterious feeling, using it to fight her way through the evening’s assignments as she waited for Noelle to text back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noelle can't process a single emotion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple more weeks of school, and then hopefully I'll be able to write a lot more before next semester! Fingers crossed.
> 
> Also PLEASE go check out my friend shutendouji and her SPECTACULAR Deltarune fic, The Other Face of the Coin! It's finally getting to the meat of the plot, so now's the best time to catch up. It's gay as shit and the plot is tight as fuck. It ties in Undertale and has time shenanigans and everything. Seriously, go give it the love it deserves.
> 
> This PSA brought to you by the Anime Pope.
> 
> IF YOU COULDN'T READ THE LAST CHAPTER:  
> Basically, Susie's dad is an abusive sack of shit and Susie's home situation is...Bad. That's all the context you really need.

Noelle smushed her face into her pillow, screaming into the fluff of shame that threw the burning heat of her face right back at her. This whole conversation was so  _ dumb _ . Why couldn’t she just act normal? No, she had to blow up at her crush for no reason and then spam her with 5 billion texts. What an idiot. Susie probably hated her now.

She rolled back over, staring at the fairy lights on her ceiling. Mr. Holiday had permanently rigged them up there, using nothing but his toolbox and Groogle to figure out how. She was 90% sure his hack job was twelve different kinds of fire hazard, but hey, it was his house. They were nice to have, anyways, with him in the hospital. It was like he was filling the whole room, giving her a hug every time she looked up.

She wished she could visit him more often. School sucked.

Her phone jingled. Wow, after all that, Susie was still talking to her? Then again, it could be Jockington asking about the group assignment because he was too busy messing around with Catti in the back of the classroom to actually write it down. It was like clockwork with him, and she couldn’t say she loved being his personal planner; but she also knew he struggled a lot in class, and if she didn’t help him, it didn’t seem like anyone would. Even Catti preferred “teasing” him - both behind and in front of his back - to actually explaining things to him or helping him stay organized.

So, as always, it was up to Noelle.

She picked up the phone. Ah, so it  _ was  _ Susie. Noelle sighed, opening the notification.

_ hey, dont worry about it. im pretty rough around the edges. believe me, i know. _

__ _ i’d love to come over sometime. i just gotta run it past my dad. _

__ _ he’s kinda strict, so i have to be careful lol _

__ Holy shit.

She dropped the phone on your face, smacking herself in the snout. Ow.

She sat up, rubbing her nose. How could she still want to come over after all that? Was she that desperate? No, that was mean. Maybe she was just being nice. Yeah, that was probably it. Noelle was just cute and pitiful and Susie had nothing better to do. Oh, well. She supposed she might as well enjoy the company before Susie got bored and moved on.

She retrieved her phone and set about replying.

_ Lol, I get it. My dad’s pretty strict, too. I just don’t have to worry about it right now. _

__ _ Don’t get yourself in trouble! We can just hang out at school. _

__ _ No worries. _

__ She honestly felt like she was going to die. Susie was willing to argue with her dad for the sake of spending time with her. What was even happening? She fell back into her pillow, muffling her absolutely idiotic giggles. She needed to calm down, gosh dang. She made herself sit back up and get out of bed. She had homework to get cracking on, and there was no time for self indulgence at the moment. She grabbed her backpack from beside her desk, unzipping it and pulling out the worksheets they’d been assigned. She arranged everything she needed on her desk.

She glanced over at her phone. Typically, at this point, she’d silence it and leave it on her bed while she worked, but...she glanced anxiously towards her bedroom door before walking back over to her bed, nabbing her phone and scampering back to her desk chair. She slid out the platform underneath the top of the desk; it was usually pretty useless, seeing as she didn’t have anything to put on it, but it  _ was  _ nice for hiding things in nearly-plain sight. She silenced her phone, just in case, before placing it inside and sliding the tray back into place.

Alright, time to focus. She’d get a worksheet done, then check her phone. It would be hidden perfectly under the desktop, so her mom would never notice. It was an absolutely foolproof plan. She leaned over her worksheet and began scribbling away.

Two minutes later, she was tapping her pencil on the desk, staring at the wall.  _ You really should be focusing on your work _ . Susie had probably replied already.  _ It’s two worksheets; it’ll take you all of fifteen minutes. _ She didn’t want Susie to think she was snubbing her, or like...dead or something.  _ This is entirely a nonissue. _

Mom wasn’t home yet. She pulled out the tray.

Nothing.

She sighed, pushing the tray back in. Fine. Okay. Work time.

She forced herself through the rest of the sheet, getting it done in about ten minutes, per usual. She immediately tossed it aside, but paused, ears twitching as she listened for her mother.

No noise. She was safe.

She was used to stealth missions, but definitely not like this. The things she did were usually a lot less risky. She had to admit, though, there was a rush to it, an adrenaline she didn’t get to feel very often. She could see the appeal of misbehaving regularly, in a way. She had a feeling that wasn’t the only reason Susie acted the way she did, though.

Speaking of Susie, she had finally replied.

_ its nbd. ill figure it out. _

__ _ when do u wanna hang? _

__ It was a VBD (Very Big Deal) to Noelle, but she decided to let it go for the time being.

_ If you say so. Is Saturday good? _

__ The front door opened. Noelle nearly threw her phone, but had the wits to stop herself and set it back inside the desk, shoving the tray back into its slot. She pulled the other worksheet toward her and set about doing a piss poor job of looking busy.

“Noelle? You doing homework?” The owner of the voice promptly headed down the hallway without waiting for an answer, but Noelle knew she wanted one.

“Yeah, mom.”

“Lovely.” Mrs. Holiday reached the door, eyeing Noelle as though taking stock of her. “How’s it going? Do you need anything?”

“I already got one worksheet done. We didn’t get a lot tonight, so I should be done soon.”

Her mother squinted, more out of annoyance than suspicion. “Well, double check that you didn’t miss anything. This light workload lately is worrying me.”

“Okay, mom.”

“Really, Noelle.” She leaned against the door frame. “I’m wondering about having you skip a grade again.”

Noelle stiffened, but tried to keep her ears from flattening.

“At least some more advanced classes? Something? The last thing I want to do is move you to another school, but…”

“Mom.” Noelle rubbed her fingers together, trying to relieve some stress. “I think it’s just a slow week. It’s been fine so far.”

“Noelle, you’re only a month into the year. That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Well, that means you can’t judge the workload yet, either.”

“There’s no need to get snippy.” Her mother stood up straight again, speaking authoritatively. “I’m just trying to help you succeed, and I don’t know if public school was the best choice. I didn’t want you lacking social skills, but the tradeoff might not have been worth it.”

“Okay, mom.” Noelle gave up, returning to her worksheet.

“I don’t know why you’re so dismissive of me sometimes. I’m doing my best.” Mrs. Holiday pouted, looking a little ridiculous, although Noelle would never dare say it.

“I’m sorry. I just like this school.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but that doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for you.” She sighed. “I guess we can give it another month or two, see what happens.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” Noelle leaned back in her chair. “So how was your day?”

Her mom waved dismissively. “Busy as always. Piles upon piles of red tape. Apparently Mrs. Davis wants to put a tree in her front yard and doesn’t appreciate having to fill out 20 different forms to do it. Fascinating stuff.”

Noelle giggled. “Why 20 different forms?”

“Because I haven’t gotten around to streamlining the forestry industry in this town. Tragic, I know.”

They shared a laugh, and for a second Noelle could forget about everything else. She cherished those moments, but they were painfully fleeting.

Her mother sighed, breaking her out of her split-second melancholy. “Well, I’ll leave you to finish up. I have to go back to work soon, but I’ll order in pizza for you, okay?”

“Thanks, mom!” Noelle gave her a big, cheesy grin, making her laugh again.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’ll see you tonight.” Mrs. Holiday blew her a kiss and headed off into the living room to place a call to ICE-E'S.

When she heard her mother’s voice resounding through the house, Noelle pulled out the tray again. The notification light blinked cheerily. She checked her texts.

_ yeah, saturdays good. 3? _

Noelle smiled, still somehow riding the high from earlier. She pushed everything else out of her head as best she could. She was finally going to see Susie outside of school. This was actually happening. Wow.

_ Works for me! _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susie is forced to make a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Sorry this just occurred to me, but HEAVILY REFERENCED CHILD ABUSE IN THIS CHAPTER. If you can't read it, I'll put a summary at the beginning of the next chapter!
> 
> Not too sure how I feel about this chapter tbh...it's shorter and lighter than I would like. I think finals sorta burnt me out. No worries, though, plenty more to come.

The next few days seemed to practically disappear, skipping and jumping through minutes and hours like the petty manmade concepts they were and leaving Susie tumbling heels over head into Friday afternoon. Routine stood firm among the riptides of time, however, and she was holed up in her room once again. Her phone buzzed familiarly on her chest, and she gambled with herself, guessing which of three people was trying to get her attention this time. She picked it up and swore underneath her breath. Wrong.

_ Home late. Extra hours this weekend. Money on counter. _

She sighed. He did the absolute bare minimum at best, as always. She hoisted herself off the bed and trudged out of the room and downstairs. Might as well see what she had to work with.

She walked into the kitchen and immediately spotted a small stack of cash by the sink. It looked like more than usual, but she knew him to leave five ones instead of a single five, just to fuck with her. She picked up the bills and flipped through them, then flipped through them again, her eyes growing wide. No fucking way. She held them up to the light, more out of shock than of true suspicion. Yeah, they were real. What the fuck?!

Susie held in her hands five 20 dollar bills. 100 fucking dollars. Yeah, her old man was drunk and stupid, but  _ this  _ drunk and stupid? Her heart fluttered. She shouldn’t take this. He’d figure it out eventually. It was too much money to go unnoticed. She’d be out on her ass before she could spend it all.

It was more money than she’d ever seen -  _ hoped  _ to see at once.

She needed to sit. She floated over to the couch and sat down. She had the whole weekend and $100 to herself, if she dared. He would notice, but not for a few days, maybe even a week. She could plan. She could pack. She could have the best time of her fucking life before she had to fall back down into the real world. It was all too real, and all too impossible, and all too much.

She shook her head, physically clearing out her thoughts. What a fucking idiot. She had $100. What was she gonna do when that ran out? Beg ICE-E’s to take her back after she’d punched the lights out of the manager? Yeah, that would be productive. She ran a hand through her hair. Fuck. Even if she didn’t take it, just left it on the counter exactly where it had been, he would still convince himself that she’d stolen it. This was the absolute fucking worst.

She stared at the paper in her hand. So small and thin, easily torn or burnt or thrown to the wind, but so powerful. Powerful enough to change her life? Doubtful. But...it was something. It was definitely something.

She stood back up. No reason to panic now. She had plenty of time to think with  _ him  _ gone all weekend. She couldn’t help but walk slowly, though, reviewing her options obsessively in her head. Money was clothes, food, bus rides, rent, job applications,  _ freedom _ . Money was  _ power _ . Money was her wildest dreams and her darkest nightmares. She’d contemplated stealing from him before when she was desperate for a decent meal, sure. But to have it handed to her like this? It almost felt like divine intervention, like someone somewhere was whispering promises in her ear, curling her fingers around it like a polite but insistent grandmother with too much cash on her hands.

The vibration in her pocket brought her back to Earth from whatever far out places her mind had traveled to. She gingerly set the money down on a kitchen chair and checked her phone.

_ Hey, Susie! Just wanted to check if you’re coming over Saturday. No pressure! We can always do another day. _

__ Oh, right. She’d never actually confirmed plans with Noelle. She wasn’t really used to making plans with people. Hell, she’d only made her first real friend a few days ago. She leaned against the counter.

_ saturdays fine. sorry for not getting back to you. _

__ _ It’s ok! ^^ I’ll see you tomorrow, then! _

__ Susie slipped her phone into her pocket, figuring that was the end of it, but it buzzed again. She pulled it back out.

_ How was your week, by the way? We haven’t talked much these past few days. _

__ Susie briefly reflected on the past week. They hadn’t, had they? The week had sort of flashed by in a blur of homework and...some other stuff, probably. Susie wasn’t really sure, honestly. But yeah, not good to make a new friend only to completely ignore them.

_ idk. dont remember much. probably boring. _

__ _ urs? _

__ Susie absentmindedly wandered back to the couch, perching on the edge of the cushion. This was a welcome distraction, she had to admit.

_ Same. Lots of work, parents on my back lol. Kinda just wanna sleep for 12 years. _

__ _ I’ll be fine, though. Weekends are always refreshing. _

__ _ I’m really looking forward to Saturday!! :D _

__ Susie snorted. The way Noelle typed reminded her a little of the way Ralsei talked. Very cute, very...enthusiastic. She was never quite sure how to react. It wasn’t that she disliked it, per se, it was just...a lot. Still, looking over Noelle’s texts brought a smile to her face, and anything or anyone that did that was more than welcome in her life.

_ me too :) _

__ It was weird, but she was, in fact, looking forward to it. Lots of new emotions lately, huh? It made her feel uncertain, almost naive, but at the same time, it was really fucking nice.

She stood back up, ambling back over to the stack of cash on the chair almost thoughtlessly. She didn’t know why. She just felt a lot better about the potential it held. Maybe Noelle’s good vibes were infecting her through the phone. She didn’t really have a problem with that.

_ Lol it’s kind of weird to see you use an emoji like that. _

__ _ Not bad weird! You just don’t, usually. _

__ _ well, you do a lot. it seemed fun. _

__ _ and you’re actually making me smile right now, so. _

__ Susie blushed, suddenly hyperaware of what she was saying. Was that weird to say? Was she coming on too strong? It was just the truth, though. The truth was always good, right? Well, not  _ always,  _ but…

Oh. Here she was again, staring at the money in her hands.

Her phone stole her attention momentarily. She was starting to get dizzy from being all over the place like this.

_ Oh! That’s...really sweet lol. I’m glad! You have a nice smile. ^^ _

__ A nice smile. Susie didn’t smile much, or at least not until recently. The man that housed her wasn’t a fan of it. He always said she had big teeth and ugly lips, that she looked like she was snarling, on the attack, on the offensive. Anything to make her out to be the bad guy. Any excuse to smack it off her face.

She paused at the bottom of the staircase, not sure how she’d gotten there, but struck by a blinding thought. She knew him. She knew he was going to kick her ass no matter what she did, yeah? Everything was her fault, and everything deserved punishment. It didn’t matter what the right thing even was, let alone if she chose to do it - her choices had never mattered, and they certainly weren’t going to now.

So, really, what was stopping her?

That was easy, she supposed. Fear. The one emotion she could never crush into dust under her broken heel. It still made a mess of her guts when he looked at her with a face that had never held love for anyone. It still made her extremities tingle when he rose from his seat, fist already clenched and itching for blood.

The humans liked to believe the world was black and white - humans and monsters. Not necessarily all good or all bad, but you could still see it in their eyes, the quickening of their step, their hushed tones. Humans, though...they were lucky. They only feared the unknown.

Susie knew better. She knew there were humans, monsters, and then things for which there were no name, things that shouldn’t even exist. She knew that if the humans spent two seconds in her shoes, they wouldn’t cower at the mere sight of someone not quite like them anymore. She knew fearing the unknown was a waste of thought - the known was scary enough. She knew real fear.

It hit her then, dangling on the precipice of the bottom step, waiting for something else to give her an answer. It wasn’t the money - no, it  _ was,  _ but not entirely.

Fear. Fear was power. Not controlling it, but running with it, using it, letting it run icy through her veins and freeze the tips of her fingers - something  _ he  _ was too pathetic to do.

_ Sorry if that was weird! I just thought you should know. I’d love to see you smile more. _

__ Noelle wanted to see her smile. Noelle thought her smile was cute. Noelle thought she should know.

She clutched the bills in a terrified, but determined fist. Fuck it. Fuck all of this. If she was going down, she was going down blazing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noelle and her mom have dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long with this chapter!! School has been pretty much my whole life lol. Hopefully I can get chapters out more consistently from now on. I really appreciate all of you waiting so long, and the people who messaged/commented asking where I was and when the next update would be. I feel very loved <3

"So, who's this friend of yours again?"

Noelle crossed her ankles, trying to hide her anxiety as her mother doled out salad. These "family" dinners always felt like a circus act, and she could never quite get the hang of the tightrope. Her mother insisted on it, though, since they didn't see much of each other during the week, and Friday nights were usually the only breathing room she got before diving back into her mayoral duties. Her dad, of course, hadn't been able to attend in a while, and his spot only felt larger and emptier with each passing week.

"Noelle?"

Oh, right. Conversation. Noelle sat up a little straighter.

"Uh…Susie. Her name is Susie."

Mrs. Holiday put down the bowl, settling into her chair. "Susie. Where have I heard that name before?"

Of course she would have heard the name. Noelle swallowed, feeling the room shrink imperceptibly. "Uh, I don't know. She doesn't really do much outside of school." Noelle had no idea what Susie got up to outside of school, of course. They'd barely spoken to each other, besides having lunch together once. Well, no, they'd been texting like wildfire, too. Still, it had only been a few days. They'd barely passed acquaintance territory, let alone "So what do you do with the rest of your time?" territory.

Mrs. Holiday crunched a lettuce leaf, chewing slowly as she thought it over. "No, I've definitely heard of this girl." She swallowed, tapping the edge of her bowl with her fork. "Is she one of those band girls?"

"Yeah!"

Yeah??

Noelle's mouth had run away from her brain, catching a ride on the easy excuse train before she could consciously do anything about it. The thought of Susie in an honors band program was laughable, but she had to work with what her mother had given her. "I met her in homeroom, but she's in band too. She joined kinda late, though, so she hasn't done much yet." Noelle stuffed a forkful of veggies into her mouth to shut herself up. Her mother didn't pick up on her rising pulse, thankfully.

She still seemed suspicious, though. Her tone flattened slightly, and Noelle could see her running over the story in her head. "Interesting. Last I heard, Mr. Sandal doesn't allow latecomers into the class. She must have really won him over. What does she play?"

Noelle swallowed hard. "I don't remember. Clarinet, maybe? I know she's been playing for a while, though."

Her mother laughed, a half-cough that set Noelle just a little more on edge. "Well, I would hope so, if she's in the honors class. Is she planning to study music?"

"We haven't really talked about the future much." Noelle shifted in her seat. They hadn't really talked about  _ anything  _ much.

"You haven't really talked about  _ anything  _ much."

Man, her mom's perceptiveness scared her sometimes.

Mrs. Holiday perched her chin on her hand, resting her elbow on the table. "How do you know you like this girl enough to invite her over to your house?"

Unfortunately, the one reaction Noelle couldn't control was her blush. She'd tried her damndest to train herself out of it, but there was nothing to be done. As soon as a conversation went too far or she did something slightly too out of place, there it was, creeping up her neck into her cheeks. When it was really bad, she could even feel it in her ears. Right now, though, it was the standard issue, just a slight darkening on the apples of her cheeks.

Her mother's eye was keen, as always. "Noelle? Is there something you're not telling me about this girl?"

She swore at herself in her head. Why was she in this situation? It could have been avoided if she'd just sucked it up and been honest. She'd told her dad months ago, and everything had turned out fine. Why couldn't she just -

"Noelle." Mrs. Holiday's tone darkened, edging toward a line Noelle had never dared to cross. It was only that fear that finally pushed the words out of her choked up throat.

"I haven't been talking to her long, but I've been...watching her ever since she joined the class."

The thin sheet of ice over her mother's eyes didn't go away, but she fell silent anyways, waiting for Noelle to continue.

"She didn't...make friends right away, so I didn't get to hear her talk much or anything, but she seemed nice anyway, just a little awkward." It was okay if it was only half-lies, right? The expanding knot of guilt in her stomach begged to disagree, but she plowed on. "She did make a friend eventually, though: Kris Dreemurr."

"Ah." Her mother smiled - a little tightly, but still. "Lovely boys, Kris and Asriel. Very nice family."

"Y-yeah." Noelle let out what might have been a laugh, if it had a little more air behind it. "Anyways, they got to know each other, and they've been really close ever since. And then I got the chance to talk to Kris about it, and he said she's actually really nice, so now I know for sure!"

Mrs. Holiday sighed, half wistful, half something that made the fur on the back of Noelle's neck bristle. "Well, I suppose if Kris likes her, she must be a good kid, too. Kris has a sound head on his shoulders."

"Yeah, I think so too." It felt weird to talk about Kris this way, but any conversation with her mother was bound to feel weird at some point. "So that gave me the courage to finally approach her, and she gave me her number, and we've been texting every day since."

Her mother raised an eyebrow.

"After I do my homework."

No change.

"And cello practice."

The eyebrow lowered, and with it went the building tension of the conversation. Noelle stuffed another leaf of lettuce into her mouth, her every neuron dedicated to firing off some semblance of casualty.

Mrs. Holiday, meanwhile, seemed deliberately neutral, gnawing mechanically at a baby carrot. She swallowed the piece in her mouth, nibbled the inside of her bottom lip, then responded. "Fine, then. I understand the ways you kids get to know each other are different nowadays. If she seems okay to you, I don't have a problem with her coming over."

Noelle smiled, trying not to betray her excitement. "Thanks. I'll let her know."

Dinner was finished without incident. Noelle jumped up, clearing the bowls from the table and washing them as Mrs. Holiday returned the leftover salad to the fridge. The bowls were sparkling and tucked into the cupboard in record time, but Noelle thanked her mother for the meal and walked slowly back to her room. She was practiced in her "doting daughter" act, but there was still a stiffness about it that she could only hope her mother didn't see through.

Finally, she was safely in her room, and shut the door with a deflated sigh. That had, admittedly, been easier than she expected. She rubbed her face, trying to shake off the 12 layers of anxiety (and guilt, but there was nothing to be done about that) she'd built for herself. Boy, it would be nice to just function normally for once.

She grabbed her phone off her desk. No new messages. Maybe Susie had dinner around the same time she did. That'd be nice. It'd make having her over to eat a little less awkward.

...heh. Having her over to eat.

Noelle smacked herself in the forehead. What a stupid thought. Really, Noelle? Are you twelve?

She ran a hand through her hair. Okay, anyways...she was glad it had all worked out. She had instantly regretted inviting Susie over the second the message was sent, and she was lucky her mom had been okay with it after all. She wasn't usually so impulsive, but Susie was so distracting, so...

She shook her head. No, focus. Time to get this stupid homework out of the way. Then you can, er...daydream all you want.

She promptly sat down at the desk, dumping everything out of her backpack and setting to work. If there was one thing she could say for herself, it was that she was disciplined when necessary. Still, as the evening wore on, she occasionally caught herself doodling hearts in the margins of her worksheets. She knew Ms. Alphys wouldn't care, but she scribbled them out anyway, as if censoring them would push the thoughts out of her mind. It worked well enough for the time being, but as she plugged away, glancing at her phone all the while, she knew in the back of her mind that she wasn't going to get much sleep tonight.

She also knew there wasn't really anything she could do about it.


End file.
